Anything but Ordinary, please!

Embracing life to the full… Including questions, challenges, joys and adventures

Having Questions v Having Answers

All of my life I have been a leader…. I grew up in a family of leaders…. I have had opportunities to lead others in sports, church, school, as a teacher, as a friend….

I like to lead…. I like to have answers…. I like to help others….(and I’m pretty good at it :))

I dislike asking for help and being uncertain…. I dislike insecurity and lack of perceived control….

There have been times in my life when I have needed help and stubbornly sought the aid that I needed. But, I still didn’t really like it.

For most of my life I have believed that I actually had more answers than questions…  or at least that I should have more answers than questions. AND this is particularly true when it comes to my faith and my understanding of the Bible.

However, I think I am reaching a turning point… I am starting to realize that I need help (and lots of it!)… I am starting realize that I have more questions than answers… I am starting realize that this is okay.

 

If you have been following my blog for very long you know that I am attempting to read through the Bible in a year with my husband and brothers. It’s a pretty cool challenge and I am only one week behind. However, the more that I read, the more questions I have. Each time I sit down to write a blog post it is full of questions and I want somehow to be able to tie the questions together with at least some sort of answer AND I CAN NOT!

This is frustrating.

For context, I just finished reading Deuteronomy and am almost through with Joshua. These two books are full of battles, rules, death, punishment, sacrificial systems, and did I mention WAR… all over the place…. lots of death, lots of God’s people killing others and burning entire cities to the ground… this creates questions for me… I struggle with this.

On top of that I am reading the Gospel of John… go read through it yourself and you will see why I might have some questions…

I want to be able to explain things to myself and to others about how all of this fits together and I am having a hard time putting the pieces together.

I need help.

I want to learn.

I want to listen to others.

So, I am hoping to find a bible study at our new church or a group of people to have serious conversations with.

I want to feel comfortable asking questions like, “Is God mean?” without being looked at like I have 3 heads.

I want to feel comfortable asking questions like, “What did the people who got completely wiped out feel? Did God care about them?” without feeling like I am taking the discussion off course.

Is it possible to have these types of honest conversations? In my experience, I have felt shamed, dismissed or weak when asking questions like these. Maybe its just me, but I am hopeful to learn and to grow in this next season of life.

What questions do you have?

Where have you found freedom to honestly discuss questions without feeling pressured to have an answer that fits?

 

 

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One comment on “Having Questions v Having Answers

  1. vtpax
    April 6, 2013

    Im glad you ask questions….i like to ask questions too…but when we ask…other people are going to tell us what they think, some of that may be helpful…some not! Sometimes people will react in ways that reflect their own stuff as they react to our questions, and whether they think we have the right to ask or not! and we have more to sort through…..i remember one time I asked a question about whether god was mean, and a lady stood up and told me that I had no right to ask that about a Sovereign God. Another time I was asking about prayer cause it seemed to me like prayer should be more than a list of requests, and yet that was the only kind of prayer I ever heard out loud in a Sunday school class….A graduate from Yale seminary told me that it never occurs to him to pray. Its a waste of time because God has everything under control….someone else told me they thought it was a waste of time for lay people to read the Bible cause they would just misunderstand it anyway…so I started hanging out with children. They like questions!

    As time has gone on I find i really like guided listening/ meditation and spiritul formation groups more than I like bible study because bible study implies questions and answers and debate and all that stuff and I really dont want to do that any more. I want to know God more, and hear from Him and follow His leading in my life…(for me) i cant do that if I believe he is mean…i cant point others to a God that I think might be mean. …so when i read something in the Bible (like below) that sure seems mean to me(!) I find that affirming scriptures that proclaim Gods goodness calms me down…. Reading writers and talking to people with quiet/loving spirits who have experienced Gods love, healing, transformation in their lives… helps me love the Bible AND God and (even) Christians.

    I also ask God if He is mean, and I think He laughed gently! I can be at peace with what I dont understand when I accept that its okay to not understand everything! (kinda like you were saying). My questions are more about…what are we being prepared for? Why does spiritual formation matter so much when we are still so very human at the end of our lives…is the whole idea to learn how much we need God for our breath and life and being, and to hunger and thirst for Him and His love and to hunger and thirst for everyone to have the opportunity to be loved by Him? …and so in heaven, will we have new job assignments? What will that be like? How will our life here have prepared us for our futures in eternity? Why is this little blip in the radar screen so important to God? What truths should we stand up for on this earth…no matter what? what truths do we hold out as treasure in a smutty world? When is it okay to listen to heretical stuff without commenting or feeling the need to say something? Why is it so much easier to feel spiritual when I am by myself or with people who love me and accept me as I am….how can I know if I am acting/responding as Jesus would when I am being challenged or my insecurities are being triggered?! …where does human honesty come in to all of this? and why doesnt God zap the stuff the keeps us from being the people we really want to be but dont know how to be?!….and why why why Noahs ark? Ive heard the best on that…and it still doesnt make mega sense to me! I forget the good answers Ive heard and remember my questions….like how could everyone but Noahs family have been rebellious against God..and then Noahs family was a mess too!…And Its not like after Noahs ark humanity was better than it was before…(God is gently laughing again) so what was the point?! I think he knows I am just grateful I wasnt born in the days where I would have had to build my own stuff and raise animals and do all the other stuff my spoiled self is so glad I dont have to do.

    Okay- so Im open to your thoughts and answers about my thoughts! I love you. mama

    P.s. The childrens story bible is the best! …and the message.

    On 4/6/13 10:03 AM, “Anything but Ordinary, please!” wrote:

    > traciraerowe posted: “All of my life I have been a leader…. I grew up in a > family of leaders…. I have had opportunities to lead others in sports, > church, school, as a teacher, as a friend…. I like to lead…. I like to > have answers…. I like to help others….(and I'” >

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